by Lauren de Rijcke
Registered Psychotherapist in Guelph, Ontario
Maybe you've seen relatable posts about ADHD and Autism online or on social media.
Maybe you have a child or family member who was recently diagnosed, and now you're wondering about yourself.
Maybe you've always felt like things were harder for you in life than they are for other people — and it's never made sense.
What is AuDHD?
AuDHD refers to the combination of Autism and ADHD occurring together. It's more common than most people realize, especially in women, who are frequently diagnosed later in life, if at all.
Why Is AuDHD So Often Missed in Women?
Diagnostic criteria have historically been modeled on the experience of boys. Research and assessment tools were based on the presentation in young boys, so common differently presenting traits in women and girls have been missed
Women more often present with inattentive, and differently-presenting hyperactive traits. This looks less like the stereotypical “hyperactive boy” and more like daydreaming, overwhelm, or internal restlessness.
There is often a history of misdiagnosis. BPD, mood disorders, anxiety, depression, bipolar are common previous diagnoses. AuDHD diagnosis can be masked and delayed by years or decades.
High masking. Women often learn very early on to blend in socially and compensate for challenges. This does not mean it is easy, and often takes a toll when done throughout our lives
ADHD traits can mask Autistic traits and vice versa. This internal push-pull can feel chaotic, and take a huge cognitive, mental, and emotional toll
Common Signs of AuDHD in Women
Because so much of this gets internalized or explained away, AuDHD symptoms in women often show up less as a "textbook" checklist and more as a lifelong pattern of things quietly feeling harder than they should. Common signs include:
Internal tug-of-war. A strong need for routine, but also for flexibility and spontaneity. Overthinking details and then impulsively leaping into decisions. The urge to connect socially, while also feeling a strong need for time alone and to isolate.
Chronic exhaustion that doesn't add up. Feeling wiped out after ordinary social or sensory situations that don't seem to affect others the same way
A cycle of burnout and recovery. Periods of pushing through, followed by shutdown, withdrawal, burnout, or getting sick, then starting the cycle again
Rejection sensitivity. A disproportionately painful reaction to criticism or perceived rejection, often followed by mentally replaying the moment for hours or days
Intense, deeply-held interests. You may downplay or hide these because they don't match what's expected of you
A persistent sense of being "too much" and "not enough" at the same time.
If several of these feel uncomfortably familiar, that discomfort is information worth paying attention to. Your experience is real.
What should I do if I think I may have AuDHD?
Note your experiences, symptoms, and challenges and bring them up with your doctor
Consider the benefits and potential drawbacks of pursuing a formal diagnosis. For some, getting confirmation and clarity through formal diagnosis feels like the next step. Cost and waitlists associated with assessment are all real factors, and there's no one right answer
Explore, learn more, and connect with the neurodivergent community, either online or in person
Work with a therapist, coach, or community to discuss challenges and explore strategies, accommodations, emotional processing, self-understanding, and self-acceptance
Formal diagnosis isn't the only valid path here. Many women find relief and self-understanding through self-diagnosis.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are common signs of AuDHD in women? Some common signs include chronic exhaustion, cycles of burnout and recovery, hidden sensory differences, rejection sensitivity, emotion regulation challenges, intense interests, exhaustion from masking, perfectionism, and a persistent feeling of being simultaneously "too much" and "not enough."
Do I need a formal diagnosis to see a therapist for AuDHD? No. While formal diagnosis can be helpful for some (for accommodations, medication, or personal clarity), many women find increased understanding through self-diagnosis particularly given the cost and waitlists involved in formal assessment.
Can a therapist help if I'm not formally diagnosed? Yes. Therapists experienced in AuDHD can support self-identified and formally diagnosed clients with strategies, accommodations, emotional processing, and self-understanding, regardless of where you are in the diagnosis process.
Looking for AuDHD support in Guelph and Ontario?
Recognizing yourself in a pattern like this can bring up a lot: Relief, grief, anger, or all of it at once. If any of this resonates, I'd love to help you explore what it means for you, at whatever pace feels right. As an AuDHD therapist based in Guelph, I offer a space to work through diagnosis questions, masking fatigue, and self-understanding without judgment. Reach out to ask questions or connect.
